Welcome to our Crotch Rocket!

October 25, 2008

OK, now, that may have sounded a little risque, but that’s sort of the point.  Just so it’s clear up front, this is Brad writing.  No need to assume my wonderful wife would ever write something so vile as about what you are about to read.  OK, really, it shouldn’t be vile at all, but still, do not lay the blame for this post at Tiffany’s feet.  I know she hates that. 

So, as some of you already know, I hate the word “blog”.  I just think it sounds awful and vile (ok, I lied, there it is, “vile”) and stupid.  The fact that it has become the new buzzword in everybody’s vocabulary, it seems, that I hear 1000 times per day does not help the situation.  Heaven forbid you use it as a verb. 

I much prefer to use the word website.  (Maybe I should say “bsite” instead.)  (Incidentally, the fact that the subtitle of this website is “This is a website” really has nothing to do with my hatred of the word blog.  I just thought it was short and self explanatory and that it would be funny.  Perhaps I am a great fool.) (I just wanted to put three things in parenthesis in a row.) Where was I?  Website.  So, yeah, sometimes people try to tell me, “Keck, you know, you’re kidding yourself, what you have is EXACTLY a blog.  It’s not a better kind of website.  Just face it.”  These people, I’m afraid to say, have totally missed the point.  It’s not that I am DENYING that this website is what most people call “a blog”, it’s just that I think it’s a stupid word that everyone would be better off not using. 

This brings me back to what I really came here to say.  As some of you already know, (whether these are the same some people who already know I hate the word blog, I can’t say), I love analogies.  I think they are the best form of conveying understanding on an issue.  So, as you may have guessed, I have come up with an analogy for this situation.  There is a thing called a sportbike.  I have an image of one at the beginning of this post.  Some people affectionately refer to these vehicles as “crotch rockets”.  Now, I imagine, this makes some people uncomfortable.  Crotch rocket is not a pretty phrase.  It evokes unpleasant imagery, perhaps.  I can imagine a person might own a sportbike, and want to call it a sportbike, and really prefer that other people wouldn’t even say “crotch rocket”.  “But sir (or madame),” they might say, “this is CLEARLY a crotch rocket.  You are fooling yourself if you say otherwise.”  OK, if the analogy has not made itself clear by this point, I fear that any further explanation will be lost on you.

So, in summary, I have decided that where I have the presence of mind to do so, I will henceforth refer to “blogs” as “crotch rockets” in reference to my magnificent analogy.  Perhaps I can give some people the icky tingly feelings I get when I hear blog bandied about so cavalierly.  After all, what’s more important in this life than sharing your misery with others?  🙂



  1. First off, you’re ridiculous. I’d like to slap you acrossed your face. Second of all, I die a little inside every time people refer to motorcycles as sportbikes. And finally, amen to using the word ‘bsite’. I’ve been waiting for that one to take off!

  2. Oh dear. I shouldn’t have read this to John. Now he may start using “blog” a bit more in meetings. 🙂 And you’re right, the term “crotch rocket” does create some unpleasant imagery and make me cringe a bit.

  3. Oh Sternum Puncher, you know how to punch my buttons in the sternum. Anyway, all motorcycles aren’t sport bikes. A Harley is not a sportbike. A Goldwing is not a sportbike. Only crotch rockets are sportbikes.

  4. He has told me more analogies than I can count. It’s a really weird quirk. The latest one was about brownies.

  5. Brad has always been the king of the analogy. It is a fun personality trait of his.

  6. Hmmm… so pretty much you hate McBlog…. I’m glad your true feelings have come out. It’s ok, we’ll let you call it McWebsite. I can’t wait to ride my crotch rocket later this week.

  7. Can I call it McBsite? 😀

  8. i publicly announce that i enjoy looking at your crotch rocket.

  9. Sid, I had no idea!!

    (Seriously, I had no idea. Welcome!) 🙂

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