I hear what you’re saying…

September 27, 2008

…but it’s kind of a deal breaker.

So, Tiffany Baugh called me on it, so here it is, a post to talk about the long awaited season premier of The Office.

-The Keck



  1. -No! You do not talk to him like that!
    -But he’s an idiot!
    -He is not an idot! He is mentally challenged!

  2. “When Michael told us that Jan was pregnant, he led us to believe that he was the father… by telling us that he was the father.”

    I like when Michael said, “Gooooo tee!” And I loved when he ripped up the tickets and then asked if he could pay Holly the next day. Classic Michael.

    My very favorite was the one Erica did and then my second favorite was when Michael was talking about Ronnie and he said something like, “She lights up our office. Actually, she doesn’t. She’s a weirdo.” or something like that. I was cracking up. Sorry about my lack of word-for-wordage there.

  3. “Almost, Kevin! Math is hard.”
    “What up, 212”
    “Under my Ang er – ella ella ella ay ay ay”
    “Every little boy fantasizes about his fairy tale wedding.”
    “The last word is seagulls.”
    “I would like to lose 65 pounds.”
    “Does anyone wanna dance?”
    “That wasn’t a tape worm.”
    “Fire – d guy!”
    “I don’t need a judge to tell me to keep my community clean.”
    “I think I never really processed 9/11.”
    “What are you smiling about there, Smily Pants?”

    I also loved Stanley’s Black Power salute.

  4. “I’m taking my dumplings.” PSSHHHHHHHHHH! (bug spray)
    “I have a fiance I very much like.”

    “… and then I will declare my love for her.” (Jim about Ronnie)
    “amazing” (less than enthusiastic Kelly)
    “Oh they found her?” (candle vigil girl)
    “Cryogenics, beer me five!”
    “Not that guy who murdered his mother, he wasn’t so good lookin. Plus, Kevin.”
    “Happy Birthday STANLEY!”
    “I haven’t had a very hard life.”
    “Split the commission?” “60 40.” (when there was really no sale anyway)
    “I’m so glad I decided not to rent.” (sumo suit)
    “I say I say I say I si I sit on you.” “No it’s, I say I say I say I si I sit on you.”
    “Andy Bernard does not lose contests. He wins them, or he quits them for being unfair.”

  5. “I’m going to pick 3 names totally at random…and these people will get liposuction. At their own expense. Ok…Kevin, Stanley, Phyllis.”

  6. Here I go for week 2. Let me just first say that I wish there was a way to put our favorite facial expressions on here, because that is a real strength of the show. Holly fits right in with her great ones.
    “That was Roy. she was engaged to Roy.”
    “The tall guy got engaged.”
    “Good speech, Ryan.”
    “… over the line time wasters?” :This meeting.”
    “Robin Shaymalayan”
    “I took Intro to Philosophy…twice.”
    “You are a thief of joy.” (I know this is a line I will use.)
    “Am I in trouble here or something?”
    “I don’t want to make my employees think their jobs depend on performance.”
    “You get me.”
    “How do you tell somebody you care about deeply, ‘I told you so.’?”
    That whole Battlestar Galactica thing was priceless.

  7. “I got a gift for Pam and Roy…do I have to get you another one?” “Yes.”

    “Sometimes I download pirated music onto my work computer.” “Who doesn’t?”

  8. The whole Battlestar Galactic thing WAS priceless. My favorite by far.

  9. My favorite part was when Michael rushes to the printer, takes the picture off the wall and starts making copies just to stick it to Holly. Loved it! I also liked when Dwight said, “you know she’s not a virgin”

  10. “And if it’s a girl… Astird.”
    “I’m going to be treating Ryan the same way.”
    Dwight and Andy fighting over giving birth.
    Testing the $1200 stroller.
    Jan singing for 20 minutes.

    I need to watch again. I was laughing a lot, but can’t remember too many specifics.

  11. “This baby will be related to michael…. by delusion.”
    “Growing up I performed my own circumcision.”
    “Do you have the sharpie?”
    “Butter. Newborns are slippery.”
    “..and her little grape head is under my…”
    “in the terminal stages of her pregnancy”
    “just leave her in the car seat.”
    “it would be a better screenplay than a real suggestion.”
    “must be like the tide at Omaha Beach.”
    “you wanna hold me, see how you feel?”
    “I think she’s on a sales call.”
    “Get it to look up here.”
    “She smells like old tomatoes and dirt.”

  12. “When you first became a baby daddy, did you have an immediate connection with your baby, like the first time you held it?” “Yes. You know why? Because it was MY baby.”

    “I do not like pregnant women in my workspace. They are always complaining. I have varicose veins, too. I have swollen ankles; I’m constantly hungry. You think my nipples don’t get sore too? You think I don’t need to know the fastest way to the hospital?”

    I also loved the “I’ll be treating Ryan the same way.”

  13. “Paaaamelllla!”
    “Making a knife with a knife?” “Got a better way?”
    “She introduced me to so many things – pastuerized milk, sheets, monotheism, presents on your birthday, preventative medicine.”
    “Angela is not really a risk taker, and Andy is not really a risk.”
    “I’m now going to be prone to surges!”
    “I’m a very good screamer.”
    “Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it….”
    “We’ll auction off people, like in the olden days.” (Imagine Stanley’s face here.)
    “Mike gave me a list of his top ten Springsteen songs.” (This whole part was my laugh out loud moment.)
    “and you slap like a girl.”

  14. Awww, I was just coming here to post this since Kyle and I watched the episode again this morning.

    I was mostly going to mention stealing from Creed Bratton (my favorite part), the Bruce Springsteen songs (my other favorite part), and auctioning off people the old fashioned way with Stanley.

    I’ll add, “Phyliss, come quick, somebody let the air out of your tires” and “What? I need a hug, so unless you’re going to give me one. — Not here.”

  15. “If someone who barely outsells Phyllis can get in…”

    “Did Darrell touch you?”

    “I’m going to make this way harder than it needs to be.”

    “It’s pronounced Colonel. It’s the highest rank in the military.”

    “I’m not strong. I’ll go back to Jan and I hate Jan.”

    “Dane Cook, Jack Bauer and Eli Whitney.”

    “Applicant has a head shaped like a trapezoid.”

  16. “My blood runs big red!”

    “Life is a highway!”

    “Let’s wipe that smile off your face.”
    “Dang it Creed, I’ve been up since 4 in the morning!”
    “Want to see a magic trick? I’m going to make a pencil dis…….. I’m going to make a pencil disappear.”
    (I know those weren’t exact.)

    The whole interview scene.

    “Maybe next time, we should ‘prank’ [Jim’s Brother] about being bald.”

    “And you want ME to put your bag back in the truck.”

    I love this show.

  17. “Nothing can hurt you now, you’re a man in love!” (Dwight to Michael after he sturnum punched him) (Congratulation Alleys, on your beautiful baby girl.)

    “I was there, that dude is not engaged. I’m not a big believer in therapy, but I’ll go into my own pocket to caver his copay.”

    “Kapoor’s list.”

    “best tentist on the east coast.”

    “They are poopy. Jim Halpert is smudge and arrogant.”

    “And if history tells us anything, it is that you can’t go wrong buying a house you can’t afford.”

    “Microgement” (this needs to be a real word. It is a real thing.)

    “hobos live in trains”

    “I need paper.” (Guy on phone as Dwight runs to confront Kelly.)

    “Living in the moment.” (Ryan is still the reigning king of cliches.)

    “You juked the stats, cupcake.”

    “I have an enormous amount of trouble trying to get people to come to my house>”

    “I don’t even know why I make it in such large quantities.” (Michael’s guacamole)

  18. Just the idea of Kelly having an America’s Got Talent party makes me chuckle.

    Kelly: Get out of my nook, Dwight.
    Pam (on bluetooth): That’s what she said! That’s what she said! That’s what she said!

  19. Thanks for the list, Mom. I didn’t laugh nearly as much as usual at this episode for some reason, but there were still tons of funny parts.

    Here’s the funny thing for me, Erica. Imagine you throw a party, ok, and you invite everyone at your work, and then EVERYONE shows up, except for two people, and you focus only on THAT and commit fraud against those two who didn’t show up! SILLY!

  20. Hey, I live down by the quarry too! We should go down there sometimes and throw stuff in it!

  21. My favorite line was:
    …I framed a bear for eating out of the garbage.

  22. “You want to see some high caliber acting? Well, Mr. Kurt Russell, you are about to be served.”

    “Sometimes the ends justify the mean.”

    “Welcome back, jerky, jerk face.”

  23. and the main thing I remember from last week is that I would love to take an egg salad sandwich on an airplane.

  24. We’ll dig a trench. As long as it’s down hill from the well, we’ll be fine.
    I can’t have Nana squatting over a trench!
    I’m going to put down stumps, don’t be ridiculous!
    —(Or something like that.)

    Why is that in the kitchen?!!

    No… yeah, you won. Just kidding — I’m going to need four copies.

  25. http://www.princessunicorndoll.com/

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